1
00:00:01,078 --> 00:00:01,078
████████████████████████████████
2
00:00:01,078 --> 00:00:02,955
Helga:
ARNOLD!
3
00:00:03,038 --> 00:00:04,581
( barking )
4
00:00:05,541 --> 00:00:06,917
HEY, ARNOLD!
5
00:00:11,714 --> 00:00:13,298
( glass shatters )
6
00:00:17,594 --> 00:00:18,554
( girl shrieks )
7
00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:20,681
Helga:
HEY, ARNOLD!
8
00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:23,809
ARNOLD!
9
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,645
ARNOLD!
10
00:00:27,396 --> 00:00:29,773
ARNOLD!
11
00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:33,986
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
12
00:00:34,069 --> 00:00:35,112
and NICKELODEON]
13
00:00:37,573 --> 00:00:39,283
AR-NOLD!
14
00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:42,619
MOVE IT,
FOOTBALL HEAD!
15
00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:43,036
Kids:
HEY, ARNOLD!
16
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,727
( bell ringing )
17
00:01:06,810 --> 00:01:08,604
( knock on door )
18
00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:09,855
COME IN.
19
00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:10,522
PRINCIPAL WARTZ?
20
00:01:10,606 --> 00:01:11,857
I'M DR. BLISS.
21
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,610
OH, DR. BLISS.
I'M PRINCIPAL WARTZ.
22
00:01:14,693 --> 00:01:15,778
WELCOME TO P.S.118.
23
00:01:15,861 --> 00:01:16,528
THANK YOU.
24
00:01:16,612 --> 00:01:17,362
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
25
00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:18,197
NOTHING.
26
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:18,781
SO, DR. BLISS...
27
00:01:18,864 --> 00:01:19,865
THE SCHOOL DISTRICT
28
00:01:19,948 --> 00:01:22,826
IS SENDING US
A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST
29
00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,162
ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS
AFTER SCHOOL.
30
00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:26,163
VERY NICE OF THEM.
31
00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:27,873
WHY ARE YOU DOING
HERE AT 8:15?
32
00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,333
WORKING ON MY PROFILE OF YOU.
33
00:01:29,416 --> 00:01:31,001
WHAT?
34
00:01:31,084 --> 00:01:31,752
( chuckles )
35
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:32,503
I'M KIDDING.
36
00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:35,047
I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME EARLY.
37
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,883
YOU KNOW, SPEND THE DAY
OBSERVING YOUR STUDENTS.
38
00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:40,260
VERY WELL, DOCTOR,
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
39
00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:44,681
BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK
YOU'LL FIND MUCH THAT WOULD
INTEREST A PSYCHOLOGIST.
40
00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:45,766
OH, WHY NOT?
41
00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:46,934
BECAUSE, DOCTOR
42
00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:48,018
UNLIKE P.S.117
AND P.S.119
43
00:01:48,101 --> 00:01:52,606
P.S.118 IS THE PICTURE
OF MENTAL HEALTH.
44
00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:56,527
OUT OF MY WAY, GEEK BAIT!
45
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:58,445
Wartz:
WELL, HAPPY HUNTING,
DR. BLISS.
46
00:01:58,529 --> 00:01:59,238
THANK YOU.
47
00:01:59,321 --> 00:02:01,156
ONE SIDE, MORON!
I'M WALKING HERE!
48
00:02:03,242 --> 00:02:05,118
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
49
00:02:07,079 --> 00:02:08,205
( Harold laughing )
50
00:02:12,626 --> 00:02:13,377
OHAYOU-GOZAIMASU, HELGA.
51
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,587
NO JAPANESE THIS MORNING,
PHOEBE.
52
00:02:15,671 --> 00:02:16,630
I HAVE A HEADACHE.
53
00:02:16,713 --> 00:02:19,049
OH, OKAY... ENGLISH.
54
00:02:19,132 --> 00:02:20,300
OH, YES, YES, WELL...
55
00:02:20,384 --> 00:02:20,884
HEY, WHO'S THE SKIRT?
56
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:22,886
CLASS, SETTLE DOWN...
57
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:24,429
LISTENING EARS.
58
00:02:24,513 --> 00:02:25,973
TODAY WE HAVE
A VERY SPECIAL GUEST.
59
00:02:26,056 --> 00:02:29,935
OUR SCHOOL DISTRICT
PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. BLISS.
60
00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:31,728
WHOOP-DE-DOO,
THE SCHOOL SHRINK.
61
00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:33,230
I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.
62
00:02:33,313 --> 00:02:38,902
DR. BLISS IS
OUT IN THE FIELD TODAY
OBSERVING OUR CLASSES
63
00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:41,238
AND SHE HAS
RANDOMLY CHOSEN
64
00:02:41,321 --> 00:02:44,116
TO OBSERVE US... US MEANING
THE STUDENTS, I'M SURE
65
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:46,994
NOT THE TEACHERS,
AM I RIGHT, DR. BLISS?
66
00:02:47,077 --> 00:02:48,787
JUST BE YOUR OWN
SPECIAL SELVES
67
00:02:48,871 --> 00:02:51,415
AS IF NOTHING
IS HAPPENING.
68
00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,041
THAT'S EASY.
69
00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,045
WHAT?
70
00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:13,103
WHAT?
71
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:16,565
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT,
FOOTBALL HEAD?
72
00:03:16,648 --> 00:03:17,357
( bell rings )
73
00:03:19,568 --> 00:03:20,736
UGH...
74
00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:26,116
PHOEBE, GO SAVE
MY FOURSQUARE COURT
75
00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:27,326
IF HAROLD TAKES IT
76
00:03:27,409 --> 00:03:30,287
TELL HIM I'LL PULL
HIS APPENDIX OUT.
77
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:30,412
SAVING.
78
00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:35,667
HUH... ARNOLD.
79
00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:36,126
WHAT A NERD.
80
00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:37,628
WHAT A GOOF.
81
00:03:37,711 --> 00:03:39,630
WHAT A TINY-HATTED LITTLE CREEP.
82
00:03:39,713 --> 00:03:41,173
HOW I HATE HIM.
83
00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:43,634
AND YET...
84
00:03:43,717 --> 00:03:45,344
I LOVE HIM.
85
00:03:45,427 --> 00:03:51,224
OH, ARNOLD, BASTION OF SANITY
IN THIS CRAZY, MIXED-UP WORLD
IN WHICH WE LIVE...
86
00:03:51,308 --> 00:03:53,852
HOW TENDER I FEEL
WHEN YOU BRUSH PAST ME...
87
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:55,687
HOW I FORGET MY CARES...
88
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:59,316
HOW THE ESSENCE OF YOU LINGERS
SWEETLY IN THE AIR
89
00:03:59,399 --> 00:03:59,900
AND I FEEL PEACE...
90
00:03:59,983 --> 00:04:03,320
TRUE PEACE AT LAST.
91
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,279
OH...
92
00:04:04,363 --> 00:04:05,572
( nasal breathing )
93
00:04:05,656 --> 00:04:06,740
HI...
94
00:04:08,951 --> 00:04:10,827
( gasps )
OH, MY...
95
00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:14,373
Helga:
OKAY, I HIT HIM.
96
00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:15,540
SO WHAT?
97
00:04:15,624 --> 00:04:17,209
MISS PATAKI,
STRIKING ANOTHER STUDENT
98
00:04:17,292 --> 00:04:20,712
IS A DIRECT VIOLATION
OF SCHOOL POLICY.
99
00:04:20,796 --> 00:04:22,381
BRAINY? HE DOESN'T MIND.
100
00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:23,882
I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
101
00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:26,051
YOU'D SOCK HIM, TOO
102
00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:28,345
IF HE WAS BEHIND YOU,
BREATHING...
103
00:04:28,428 --> 00:04:28,971
BREATHING?
104
00:04:29,054 --> 00:04:30,263
YES, BREATHING.
105
00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:31,431
YOUNG LADY,
THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH.
106
00:04:31,515 --> 00:04:35,686
WHEN I WELCOMED DR. BLISS
TO ROAM THE HALLS OF P.S.118
107
00:04:35,769 --> 00:04:39,690
I NEVER IMAGINED THAT SHE WOULD
FIND A CANDIDATE FOR TREATMENT
BEFORE LUNCH TIME.
108
00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:41,400
TREATMENT?
109
00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:42,526
HELGA, I RECOMMEND
110
00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:43,777
WE MEET AFTER SCHOOL
AT MY OFFICE...
111
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,196
TO PUNISH YOU SOUNDLY
112
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,700
FOR YOUR BLATANTLY INSOUCIANT
ACTS OF JUVENILE DELINQUENCY.
113
00:04:49,783 --> 00:04:50,784
PRINCIPAL WARTZ,
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
114
00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,786
MAY I HANDLE THIS?
115
00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:53,870
YES, FINE, FINE, OF COURSE.
116
00:04:53,954 --> 00:04:56,540
TAKE IT AWAY... DOCTOR.
117
00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:57,749
( humming... )
118
00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:03,130
HELGA, THE POINT
ISN'T TO PUNISH YOU,
THE POINT IS
119
00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:06,383
TO DISCUSS THESE
ANTISOCIAL TENDENCIES
120
00:05:06,466 --> 00:05:08,969
AND EXAMINE POSSIBLE
STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVEMENT.
121
00:05:09,052 --> 00:05:10,095
I THINK YOUR BEHAVIOR
122
00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:13,348
MAY BE COVERING UP OTHER
IMPORTANT ISSUES.
123
00:05:13,432 --> 00:05:16,226
I WANT TO TRY TO GET
TO THE ROOT OF THE MATTER.
124
00:05:16,309 --> 00:05:19,521
MAYBE UNCOVER SOME EMOTIONS
YOU MAY BE HIDING.
125
00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:23,608
H-HIDING?
126
00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:28,071
...THINKS I'M CRAZY,
HIDING SOMETHING.
127
00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:31,283
IT'S OKAY, HELGA, OLD GIRL,
YOU, YOU CAN DO IT.
128
00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:33,618
YOU'RE NOT NUTS...
129
00:05:33,702 --> 00:05:35,579
( groans )
130
00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:38,415
Multiple voices:
HEY, HELGA, HOW'S IT GOING?
131
00:05:38,498 --> 00:05:39,416
OH!
132
00:05:39,499 --> 00:05:40,584
WHERE YOU GOING?
133
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:41,585
( screams )
134
00:05:41,668 --> 00:05:43,670
Bob:
THERAPY?!
135
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:46,256
AW, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE
HAPPENED TO OLGA.
136
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,592
LOOK, IS THIS GOING TO
COST ME ANYTHING?
137
00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:49,760
GOOD.
138
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,595
HOLD IT
RIGHT THERE, MISSY.
139
00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:53,722
REPORT TO THE TROPHY ROOM,
PRONTO.
140
00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:56,224
WE DIDN'T HAVE THERAPY
WHEN I WAS A KID.
141
00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:57,559
THAT'S OBVIOUS, BOB.
142
00:05:57,642 --> 00:05:59,144
I DON'T WANT YOU BLABBING
TO SOME SCHOOL SHRINK.
143
00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:00,937
WE PATAKIS
DON'T TALK ABOUT THINGS.
144
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:03,315
WE SWEEP THEM
UNDER THE RUG.
145
00:06:03,398 --> 00:06:05,734
SOME THINGS ARE BEST
SWEPT UNDER THE RUG.
146
00:06:05,817 --> 00:06:08,487
DON'T BLAB ANYTHING
OR THEY'LL GIVE US ALL
147
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:11,782
A ONE-WAY TICKET
TO THE FUNNY FARM.
YOU GOT IT?!
148
00:06:11,865 --> 00:06:13,116
I GOT IT, DAD.
149
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,660
THIS NEVER HAPPENED
TO OLGA.
150
00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:16,286
OH, NO, I KNOW, BABY.
151
00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:16,953
Helga:
"I WANT GET
152
00:06:17,037 --> 00:06:19,456
"TO THE ROOT OF THE MATTER.
153
00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:21,458
"MAYBE UNCOVER SOME EMOTIONS
154
00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,627
YOU MAY BE HIDING." ( spits )
155
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:24,836
WHAT A DISASTER.
156
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,463
WELL, I DON'T CARE
HOW SMART SHE IS.
157
00:06:26,546 --> 00:06:31,259
NO STINKING SHRINK IS GOING TO
MAKE ME GIVE UP MY DEEPEST,
DARKEST SECRET.
158
00:06:31,343 --> 00:06:33,011
MY LOVE FOR ARNOLD.
159
00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:36,431
( drumming and chanting... )
160
00:06:38,642 --> 00:06:42,813
OH, ARNOLD, I CALL ON THE POWER
OF THY SACRED SHRINE.
161
00:06:42,896 --> 00:06:47,734
GIVE ME THE STRENGTH AND
ANIMAL CUNNING TO OUTWIT
THE SCHOOL SHRINK!
162
00:06:47,818 --> 00:06:48,735
AAH...!
163
00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:51,738
OOF!
164
00:06:51,822 --> 00:06:53,281
Miriam:
HELGA?
165
00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:54,699
WE HEARD A CRASH.
166
00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:55,826
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, HONEY?
167
00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:58,120
OF COURSE.
168
00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,663
I WAS JUST...
169
00:06:59,746 --> 00:07:00,914
GETTING READY FOR BED.
170
00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,541
OH, OKAY.
171
00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:03,166
WELL, SLEEP WELL.
172
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:06,878
YEESH! WHAT A NUT JOB.
173
00:07:06,962 --> 00:07:08,839
I NEED A SMOOTHIE.
174
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:18,849
HELLO, HELGA.
175
00:07:18,932 --> 00:07:20,183
HUH?!
176
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,310
ARE YOU WEARING
A DISGUISE BECAUSE YOU'RE
177
00:07:22,394 --> 00:07:24,646
EMBARRASSED
ABOUT VISITING DR. BLISS?
178
00:07:24,729 --> 00:07:27,440
IN THIS DAY AND AGE,
THERAPY'S PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE
AND QUITE USEFUL.
179
00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:31,528
THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL TO BE
ASHAMED OR NERVOUS ABOUT.
180
00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:33,113
NERVOUS? ARE YOU KIDDING?
181
00:07:33,196 --> 00:07:34,906
I'LL JUST MAKE UP
STORIES FOR AN HOUR.
182
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,992
SHE WON'T EVEN GET
A WORD IN EDGEWISE.
183
00:07:37,075 --> 00:07:38,994
IT WILL BE A SNAP.
184
00:07:39,077 --> 00:07:40,203
( phone ringing )
185
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,414
Woman:
HELLO, DOCTORS' OFFICE.
186
00:07:42,497 --> 00:07:44,040
( knock on door )
187
00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:46,793
HELGA, COME IN.
188
00:07:46,877 --> 00:07:47,752
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
189
00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,212
YOU MEAN
SINCE YESTERDAY?
190
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:50,589
NO NEED
TO BE HOSTILE.
191
00:07:50,672 --> 00:07:52,132
I'M NOT HOSTILE!
192
00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:53,884
SO, YOU'RE
A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST?
193
00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,135
DOES THAT MEAN YOU
WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH
194
00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:57,679
TO BE A GROWNUP
PSYCHOLOGIST?
195
00:07:57,762 --> 00:07:58,680
NO, I CHOSE CHILD PSYCHOLOGY
196
00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:01,057
BECAUSE I'M INTERESTED
IN HELPING CHILDREN.
197
00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:02,976
WELL, WHOOP-DEE-DOO, DOC.
198
00:08:03,059 --> 00:08:03,977
YOU SEEM ANGRY.
199
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,855
I AM NOT ANGRY.
200
00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:07,355
HELGA, YOU'RE HERE...
201
00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:08,064
"TO DISCUSS THESE
202
00:08:08,148 --> 00:08:09,649
"ANTISOCIAL TENDENCIES
203
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:14,613
AND EXAMINE POSSIBLE STRATEGIES
FOR IMPROVEMENT." RIGHT.
204
00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:14,696
WELL, LET THE HEALING BEGIN.
205
00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:16,823
ALL RIGHT.
206
00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:16,907
DID YOU READ
ALL THOSE BOOKS?
207
00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:19,075
MOST OF THEM.
208
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:19,159
YOU WRITE ANY
OF THEM?
209
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:20,044
NO.
210
00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:20,044
YOU WRITE ANY
OF THEM?
211
00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:20,952
NO.
212
00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:21,036
HOW MANY BOOKS DO YOU HAVE
TO READ TO BE A SHRINK?
213
00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:24,122
A LOT.
214
00:08:24,206 --> 00:08:25,916
SO ARE YOU
AN ACTUAL DOCTOR?
215
00:08:25,999 --> 00:08:26,666
IF I HAD A HEART ATTACK
216
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:29,085
COULD YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
217
00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:30,712
THERE'S A HEART CLINIC
UPSTAIRS.
218
00:08:30,795 --> 00:08:32,422
THIS IS A GOOD PLACE
TO HAVE ONE.
219
00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:35,592
NICE PICTURE.
YOU LIKE EDWARD HOPPER?
220
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:36,259
I DO.
221
00:08:36,343 --> 00:08:36,968
HE'S OKAY.
222
00:08:37,052 --> 00:08:37,677
A LITTLE SIMPLE.
223
00:08:37,761 --> 00:08:39,471
WHAT'S HIS DEAL WITH WOMEN?
224
00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:41,598
THAT'S PRETTY ASTUTE
FOR A FOURTH GRADER.
225
00:08:41,681 --> 00:08:43,850
I NOTICE YOU'RE ASKING
ALL THE QUESTIONS.
226
00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:44,309
THAT A PROBLEM?
227
00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:45,393
NO, ASK AWAY.
228
00:08:45,477 --> 00:08:48,772
GREAT. THEN HOW ABOUT
I SIT IN THE BIG CHAIR
229
00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:49,522
AND YOU SIT ON THE COUCH?
230
00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:51,775
I DON'T SEE
ANY HARM IN THAT.
231
00:08:51,858 --> 00:08:53,944
SO, WHAT WERE YOU
LIKE AS A CHILD?
232
00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:55,904
I LIKED ANIMALS.
233
00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:57,030
WE HAD AN ANIMAL CLUB.
234
00:08:57,113 --> 00:08:58,490
WE DREW PICTURES
OF THEM.
235
00:08:58,573 --> 00:09:00,492
I LIKED GIRAFFES
AND KILLER WHALES.
236
00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:01,117
I LIKED JUMP-ROPE.
237
00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:03,870
WHAT RHYMES DO YOU KNOW?
238
00:09:03,954 --> 00:09:07,207
OH, WALKING THE DOG,
LINCOLN, LINCOLN,
HARBOR STREET...
239
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,208
HARBOR STREET?
240
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:09,918
Both:
WHEN THEY GET IN FIGHTS
241
00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:11,169
THIS IS WHAT THEY SAY.
242
00:09:11,253 --> 00:09:13,463
BOYS ARE ROTTEN,
MADE OUT OF COTTON.
243
00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:17,259
GIRLS ARE SASSY,
MADE FROM MOLASSY.
244
00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:19,844
BOYS GO TO JUPITER
TO GET MORE STUPIDER
245
00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:22,806
GIRLS GO TO COLLEGE
TO GET MORE KNOWLEDGE.
246
00:09:22,889 --> 00:09:24,349
...AND MY SISTER KEPT IT.
247
00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:26,643
SHE SAID, "YOU'D JUST BREAK IT."
248
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:27,769
I WAS SO MAD
249
00:09:27,852 --> 00:09:30,313
I BROKE IT
WHEN SHE WAS SLEEPING.
250
00:09:30,397 --> 00:09:31,898
YOU THINK THAT'S ANNOYING.
251
00:09:31,982 --> 00:09:33,984
TRY HAVING A SISTER
THAT'S PERFECT.
252
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:34,818
WHAT DO YOU MEAN PERFECT?
253
00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:37,279
SHE GETS STRAIGHT "A"s
AT COLLEGE
254
00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:39,322
ALL THE BOYS
WANT TO GO OUT WITH HER
255
00:09:39,406 --> 00:09:41,741
BUT SHE STAYS HOME
TO PRACTICE THE PIANO
256
00:09:41,825 --> 00:09:45,620
FOR THE BRANDENBURG CONCERTO
SHE'S GIVING AT THE ORPHANAGE
THIS WEEKEND.
257
00:09:45,704 --> 00:09:47,789
AND MOM AND DAD CAN'T GET
ENOUGH OF HER.
258
00:09:47,872 --> 00:09:51,459
LAST TIME SHE WAS HOME,
I WAS GOING OUT OF MY MIND.
259
00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:51,543
( sit-com applause )
260
00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:53,461
GOOD MORNING.
261
00:09:53,545 --> 00:09:56,339
WHO WANTS SOME MORE FRESHLY MADE
SUMATRAN DRIP COFFEE?
262
00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:58,174
I'LL HAVE MORE,
IF YOU MADE IT.
263
00:09:58,258 --> 00:09:59,843
WHEN DID YOU WAKE UP, HONEY?
264
00:09:59,926 --> 00:10:01,344
OH, HOURS AGO.
265
00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:03,346
I WENT DOWN
TO THE CORNER GROCER'S
266
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:05,807
FOR BREAKFAST INGREDIENTS.
267
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:06,683
I'M BAKING A LEMON SOUFFLE.
268
00:10:06,766 --> 00:10:09,185
( laughs )
OH, OLGA, IT'S GREAT
269
00:10:09,269 --> 00:10:10,937
TO HAVE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN.
270
00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:13,523
I'LL HAVE TO
PUT ANOTHER NOTCH
IN MY LUCKY BELT.
271
00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,859
YOU SURE SPOIL US
WHEN YOU'RE HOME, HONEY.
272
00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:17,360
YOU SURE DO.
273
00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:18,361
( all laugh )
274
00:10:18,445 --> 00:10:18,862
( sit-com applause )
275
00:10:18,945 --> 00:10:21,031
MOM!
276
00:10:21,114 --> 00:10:22,866
DID YOU PICK UP
MY WINTER COAT
277
00:10:22,949 --> 00:10:24,034
FROM THE CLEANERS?
278
00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:25,118
WHAT... OH, HELGA, I FORGOT.
279
00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,578
ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
280
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:30,582
YOUR SISTER BEING HOME
FROM... ALASKA.
281
00:10:30,665 --> 00:10:34,294
BUT DON'T WORRY--
THE WEATHER MAN SAID
IT SHOULD STAY ABOVE FREEZING
282
00:10:34,377 --> 00:10:35,879
FOR MOST OF THE DAY.
283
00:10:35,962 --> 00:10:40,383
Bob:
SPEAKING OF ALASKA, OLGA,
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT.
284
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,635
START ALL OVER AGAIN
FROM THE BEGINNING.
285
00:10:42,719 --> 00:10:46,389
OH, IT WAS SO WONDERFUL, DADDY.
286
00:10:46,473 --> 00:10:49,059
THE PRIMEVAL FORESTS...
287
00:10:49,142 --> 00:10:51,186
THE STREAMS CHOKED
WITH MIGRATING SALMON...
288
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:52,270
LES GLACIERS...
289
00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:55,398
THE TOWERING PEAK
OF McKINLEY...
290
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:57,609
I'M GOING TO SCHOOL NOW.
291
00:10:57,692 --> 00:10:59,861
( Bob and Miriam laugh )
292
00:11:01,821 --> 00:11:05,158
Helga:
NOBODY IN MY HOUSE
EVEN KNOWS I EXIST.
293
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:07,077
THEY NEVER LISTEN TO ME.
294
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,455
I THINK I'D GO CRAZY
IF IT WASN'T FOR ARNO...
295
00:11:11,539 --> 00:11:13,083
ARNO...
296
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:14,709
ARE NO...
297
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:15,794
AIR CONDITIONERS
298
00:11:15,877 --> 00:11:17,420
WORKING IN THIS
ENTIRE BUILDING?!
299
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:18,213
IT MUST BE 90 DEGREES
IN HERE!
300
00:11:18,296 --> 00:11:20,924
THEN I'LL TURN ON A FAN.
301
00:11:21,007 --> 00:11:23,093
NO, I'M ACTUALLY ALL TALKED OUT.
302
00:11:23,176 --> 00:11:24,594
HELGA, THERE ARE 49 MINUTES
303
00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:26,679
LEFT IN THE SESSION.
RELAX.
304
00:11:26,763 --> 00:11:27,639
SIT DOWN.
305
00:11:27,722 --> 00:11:28,807
FORGET IT, DOC.
306
00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:29,974
I'M ON TO YOU.
307
00:11:30,058 --> 00:11:31,684
YOU THINK IF YOU
HANG OUT WITH ME
308
00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:33,144
AND TELL ME
ABOUT YOURSELF
309
00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:34,479
I'M GOING TO GET
ALL GUSHY
310
00:11:34,562 --> 00:11:35,939
AND SAY ANYTHING
YOU WANT.
311
00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:38,608
WELL, IT'S NOT
GOING TO BE THAT
EASY, SISTER.
312
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,985
OKAY, HELGA, WE DON'T HAVE TO
TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.
313
00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:45,031
WE CAN TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER,
OR SPORTS OR YOUR CLASSMATES.
314
00:11:45,115 --> 00:11:47,242
WE CAN... TALK ABOUT ARNOLD.
315
00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:47,909
ARNOLD?!
316
00:11:52,372 --> 00:11:53,998
Bliss:
WE CAN TALK ABOUT ARNOLD.
317
00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:55,375
ARNOLD? WHAT ABOUT HIM?
318
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:57,502
HE'S SPECIAL TO YOU, ISN'T HE?
319
00:11:57,585 --> 00:12:00,130
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
320
00:12:00,213 --> 00:12:02,048
IN MR. SIMMONS' CLASS,
YOU THREW 57 SPITBALLS AT HIM
321
00:12:02,132 --> 00:12:05,301
STARED AT HIM THE WHOLE TIME
AND CALLED HIM "FOOTBALL HEAD."
322
00:12:05,385 --> 00:12:07,679
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
323
00:12:07,762 --> 00:12:10,473
THAT'S A LOT OF ATTENTION,
EVEN IF IT IS NEGATIVE.
324
00:12:10,557 --> 00:12:12,851
YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH THAT?
325
00:12:14,227 --> 00:12:15,311
YOU SEEM ANGRY
AT HIM.
326
00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:16,855
I AM NOT ANGRY AT HIM.
327
00:12:16,938 --> 00:12:18,356
THAT WAS COMPLETELY RANDOM.
328
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,691
I WAS THROWING SPITBALLS
AT HIM BECAUSE...
329
00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:22,152
UH, BECAUSE IT WAS
ARNOLD DAY ON MY CALENDAR.
330
00:12:22,235 --> 00:12:26,406
TODAY WAS GERALD DAY... I SHOT
RUBBER BANDS AT GERALD, REALLY.
331
00:12:26,489 --> 00:12:28,158
OKAY THEN, WE'LL MOVE ON.
332
00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:29,325
WHEW, SHE'S MOVING ON.
333
00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:30,660
NICE RECOVERY, HELGA.
334
00:12:30,744 --> 00:12:33,329
NOW, ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS STAY FOCUSED.
335
00:12:33,413 --> 00:12:37,041
NO MATTER WHAT, STAY AWAY
FROM THE SUBJECT OF ARNOLD.
336
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:37,917
LET'S DO SOME TESTS.
337
00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:39,544
TESTS?
338
00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:40,920
WE'LL START
WITH INK BLOTS.
339
00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:44,090
I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THESE
AND DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE.
340
00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:45,967
AR...
341
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,762
AR... ARCHITECTURE OF SOME KIND?
342
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,311
AR... UM... AN...
343
00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:59,564
INVERTED SOUP TUREEN...
THAT'S ON FIRE.
344
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:01,232
HOT IN HERE.
345
00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:08,698
AR... AREN'T YOU
TIRED OF THIS?
346
00:13:08,781 --> 00:13:12,535
I MEAN, WHAT DO A BUNCH
OF INK BLOTS TELL YOU ANYWAY?
347
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:13,870
THEY'RE JUST INK BLOTS.
348
00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:14,829
YOU'RE RIGHT,
ENOUGH INK BLOTS.
349
00:13:14,913 --> 00:13:18,500
HOW ABOUT WE TRY
A LITTLE WORD ASSOCIATION?
350
00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:20,919
I'LL READ OFF
THIS LIST OF WORDS
AND YOU SAY
351
00:13:21,002 --> 00:13:22,921
THE NEXT WORD
THAT COMES TO MIND.
352
00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:25,924
STEADY, GIRL,
YOU CAN DO IT.
DO NOT SAY ARNOLD.
353
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:26,007
LOVE.
354
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:27,217
HATE.
355
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:27,300
ROCKET.
356
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,706
BUCKET. POCKET!
357
00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:28,706
ROCKET.
358
00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:28,718
BUCKET. POCKET!
359
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:29,677
DAVY CROCKETT!
360
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:29,761
FOOTBALL.
361
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,054
HEAD.
362
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:31,721
DID I SAY HEAD?
363
00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:34,682
I MEAN GAME,
FOOTBALL GAME.
364
00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:34,766
MONDAY.
365
00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:37,894
NIGHT FOOTBALL.
AAH!
366
00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:38,228
ENOUGH.
367
00:13:38,311 --> 00:13:40,522
GOOD IDEA.
368
00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:41,731
WHAT ELSE?
369
00:13:41,814 --> 00:13:44,067
YOU SAID NO ONE AT HOME
NOTICES YOU EXIST.
370
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,235
AND...?
371
00:13:45,318 --> 00:13:45,860
WELL, I THINK
372
00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:47,529
THAT'S VERY SAD,
HELGA.
373
00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,239
EVERYONE NEEDS
TO BE NOTICED.
374
00:13:49,322 --> 00:13:51,491
OTHERWISE LIFE WOULD BE
TERRIBLY LONELY.
375
00:13:51,574 --> 00:13:52,617
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
376
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,284
YOUR MOM DOESN'T NOTICE YOU?
377
00:13:53,368 --> 00:13:55,245
MY MOM?! HUH!
378
00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:56,454
MY MOM WOULDN'T NOTICE ME
379
00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,039
IF I WAS AN ALIEN POD PERSON
380
00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,583
CHANTING "HARE KRISHNA"
AND SPITTING NICKELS.
381
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,585
THE OTHER MORNING,
I WAS IN THE KITCHEN
382
00:14:02,669 --> 00:14:04,087
LATE FOR SCHOOL AS USUAL.
383
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,130
MOM!
384
00:14:06,214 --> 00:14:08,716
MIRIAM!
385
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,553
SHE'S ASLEEP
BEHIND THE COUCH.
386
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:12,762
WHAT, WHAT?
387
00:14:12,845 --> 00:14:15,223
OH, I WAS JUST
LOOKING FOR MY KEYS.
388
00:14:15,306 --> 00:14:16,099
THEY'RE HANGING ON THE HOOK.
389
00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:18,226
OH, GOOD.
390
00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:19,811
MOM, I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL.
391
00:14:19,894 --> 00:14:21,229
AND NO ONE
MADE MY LUNCH.
392
00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:22,730
OH, YEAH, I DID, HONEY.
393
00:14:22,814 --> 00:14:23,398
I PUT IT OUT FOR YOU.
394
00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:25,316
IT'S, IT'S...
395
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,276
IT'S AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE.
396
00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:27,443
OH, HERE IT IS.
397
00:14:27,527 --> 00:14:30,029
( sit-com laughter )
398
00:14:30,113 --> 00:14:34,367
MOIST TOWELETTES,
AN INDIVIDUAL PACKET OF CRACKERS
399
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:35,577
AND A CAN OF SHAVING CREAM?
400
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,496
OH, HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE?
401
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:41,332
OH... UH-OH, UH-OH.
402
00:14:41,416 --> 00:14:44,127
THAT MEANS THE CHEESE FIZZ IS
IN B.'s MEDICINE CABINET.
403
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:47,797
AH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RUN
A BEEPER EMPIRE WITH MY FACE
404
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,717
SMELLING LIKE
HICKORY-SMOKED
CHEDDAR, MIRIAM?
405
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,175
DID YOU GET
TO SCHOOL?
406
00:14:51,259 --> 00:14:53,136
YEAH.
407
00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:54,262
WHAT ABOUT LUNCH?
408
00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:55,013
I TRADED
THE SHAVING CREAM
409
00:14:55,096 --> 00:14:57,307
WITH HAROLD
FOR A MR. FUDGY BAR.
410
00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:59,976
HE THOUGHT IT WAS
WHIPPED TOPPING.
WHAT AN IDIOT.
411
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:02,353
YOUR DAD DOESN'T
NOTICE YOU, EITHER?
412
00:15:02,437 --> 00:15:03,688
ARE YOU KIDDING?
413
00:15:03,771 --> 00:15:05,940
ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS OLGA
414
00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:07,150
BECAUSE
SHE'S PERFECT.
415
00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:09,068
SHE'S GOT HIM
COMPLETELY BUFFALOED
416
00:15:09,152 --> 00:15:10,028
ALWAYS HAS.
417
00:15:10,111 --> 00:15:12,322
AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER.
418
00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:14,407
( piano playing... )
419
00:15:15,742 --> 00:15:18,161
THAT WAS WONDERFUL,
HONEY.
420
00:15:18,244 --> 00:15:20,580
YOU'RE A STINKING GENIUS!
421
00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:22,624
DADDY, WHO'S TAKING ME
TO PRE-SCHOOL?
422
00:15:22,707 --> 00:15:23,833
HUH? OH, YEAH, YEAH.
423
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:26,461
COME ON, PLAY US
ANOTHER ONE, OLGA.
424
00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:30,298
I KNOW-- HOW ABOUT
THE MINUTE WALTZ
BY MONSIEUR FREDERIC CHOPIN?
425
00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:30,381
I LOVE THAT ONE.
426
00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:32,050
( begins playing )
427
00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:33,760
YOU SHOULD HEAR HER
PLAY BEE-THOVEN.
428
00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,178
CAN YOU BELIEVE
OUR OLGA?
429
00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:36,596
CONCERT PIANIST
AT 15.
430
00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:38,056
CLASS
VALEDICTORIAN.
431
00:15:38,139 --> 00:15:39,641
PLUS SHE'S WON
EVERY SPELLING BEE
432
00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:41,768
IN THE WHOLE
DARN CITY.
433
00:15:41,851 --> 00:15:44,145
MAKES ME PROUD
TO BE A PATAKI.
434
00:15:44,228 --> 00:15:45,605
HEY, WHO'S TAKING ME
TO PRE-SCHOOL?
435
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:47,607
YEAH... IN A MINUTE, OLGA.
436
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:50,693
NO, I'M HELGA, DAD, HELGA.
437
00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:54,364
WHATEVER. GO PLAY
OUTSIDE, WILL YOU?
438
00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,324
I'M GOING TO PRE-SCHOOL.
439
00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:56,407
( stops playing )
440
00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:57,283
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
441
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,369
ONE MINUTE FLAT.
442
00:15:59,452 --> 00:15:59,952
YOU'RE AMAZING, OLGA!
443
00:16:00,036 --> 00:16:03,623
I'M GOING TO PRE-SCHOOL!
444
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:10,922
( snoring )
445
00:16:17,553 --> 00:16:20,682
( barking )
446
00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:28,022
SO NOBODY'S EVER
NOTICED YOU.
447
00:16:28,106 --> 00:16:29,982
THERE WAS SOMEONE.
448
00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:35,279
HI...
449
00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:35,571
NICE BOW.
450
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,073
HUH?
451
00:16:37,156 --> 00:16:37,907
I LIKE YOUR BOW
452
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:40,660
BECAUSE IT'S PINK
LIKE YOUR PANTS.
453
00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:46,708
OH...
454
00:16:51,462 --> 00:16:52,714
( sighs )
455
00:16:52,797 --> 00:16:54,006
( both laugh )
456
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,179
( laughing )
457
00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:04,142
WANT MINE?
458
00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:12,233
( sighs )
459
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,028
( laughing )
460
00:17:23,953 --> 00:17:27,665
QUIT LAUGHING, GEEK BAIT,
OR YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER
461
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:28,624
TO OLD BETSY AND...
462
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,877
AND THE FIVE AVENGERS.
463
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,462
OLD WHO AND THE FIVE WHAT?
464
00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:34,797
MY FISTS, STUPID.
465
00:17:34,881 --> 00:17:35,631
THAT'S THEIR NAMES.
466
00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:39,427
WHAT? YOUR FISTS HAVE NAMES?
467
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,888
OH, YOU'RE CONFUSING ME!
468
00:17:43,181 --> 00:17:43,890
BLEH...
469
00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:45,641
I'M THE BOSS
470
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:46,601
AROUND HERE.
471
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,311
GOT IT?
472
00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:53,357
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M WALKING HERE,
HELGA G. PATAKI.
473
00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:55,067
WHAT'S THE "G" STAND FOR?
474
00:17:55,151 --> 00:17:56,444
NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX.
475
00:17:56,527 --> 00:17:58,863
NOW GET BUSY
WITH YOUR FINGER PAINTING
476
00:17:58,946 --> 00:17:59,697
BEFORE I MAKE YOU WEAR IT.
477
00:17:59,781 --> 00:18:01,073
OKAY...
( muttering )
478
00:18:13,544 --> 00:18:14,670
I LOVE YOU, ARNOLD
479
00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:17,256
AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
480
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,633
( nasal breathing )
481
00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,012
I'M TRYING TO HIDE BEHIND
THE GARBAGE CAN
482
00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:25,515
TRYING TO GET A MINUTE ALONE,
AND THERE HE IS...
483
00:18:25,598 --> 00:18:26,599
BREATHING AWAY.
484
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,934
OF COURSE I HIT HIM.
485
00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:29,977
WHY DID YOU WANT
THAT MINUTE ALONE?
486
00:18:30,061 --> 00:18:33,481
BECAUSE OF...
OH, LEAVE ME ALONE.
487
00:18:33,564 --> 00:18:35,441
I'M HEARING
YOUR ANGER AGAIN.
488
00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,818
OKAY, SO YOU
HEAR MY ANGER.
489
00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:37,944
SO I GET ANGRY.
490
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:39,070
I ALREADY TOLD YOU
491
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:39,529
THAT I'VE GOT A LAME MOM
492
00:18:39,612 --> 00:18:40,571
A BLOWHARD DAD
493
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:41,948
AND A PERFECT SISTER.
494
00:18:42,031 --> 00:18:44,659
SO THEY MAKE ME MAD--
BIG DEAL.
495
00:18:44,742 --> 00:18:46,160
WHY TAKE IT OUT ON ARNOLD?
496
00:18:46,244 --> 00:18:48,371
WHY DO YOU KEEP
BRINGING UP ARNOLD?
497
00:18:48,454 --> 00:18:50,248
I AM NOT ANGRY AT ARNOLD.
498
00:18:50,331 --> 00:18:53,459
YOU EXPRESS MORE ANGER AT HIM
THAN ANYONE ELSE.
499
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,211
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
500
00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:59,131
HELGA, IF YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING
SOMETHING OFF YOUR CHEST
501
00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:00,049
LIKE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ARNOLD
502
00:19:00,132 --> 00:19:03,052
NOW MIGHT BE A PRETTY
GOOD TIME TO DO IT.
503
00:19:03,135 --> 00:19:05,596
ANYTHING YOU SAY WILL
BE KEPT IN CONFIDENCE.
504
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,348
CONFIDENCE?
505
00:19:07,431 --> 00:19:09,725
IT'S MY PROFESSIONAL CODE
NOT TO TELL WHAT GOES ON HERE.
506
00:19:09,809 --> 00:19:11,561
YOU'RE SWORN NOT TO TELL?
507
00:19:11,644 --> 00:19:13,604
OF COURSE, HELGA.
508
00:19:13,688 --> 00:19:14,564
I MEAN,
YOU'RE SWORN, RIGHT?
509
00:19:14,647 --> 00:19:17,567
EVEN IF YOU WERE TORTURED,
YOU'D NEVER TELL?
510
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:19,068
I SWEAR NEVER TO TELL.
511
00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:23,573
SO, LIKE, IF SOMEONE
STUCK YOUR HEAD IN A CAGE
WITH A STARVED, RABID RAT
512
00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:24,907
YOU STILL WOULDN'T TELL?
513
00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:27,243
EVEN THEN, HELGA,
I STILL WOULDN'T TELL.
514
00:19:27,326 --> 00:19:30,037
WELL... I...
515
00:19:30,121 --> 00:19:30,454
YOU...
516
00:19:30,538 --> 00:19:32,999
I...
517
00:19:33,082 --> 00:19:35,126
I LOVE ARNOLD!
518
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:36,878
THERE, I SAID IT!
519
00:19:36,961 --> 00:19:39,463
I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!
520
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,590
ARNOLD, ARNOLD, ARNOLD!
521
00:19:40,673 --> 00:19:44,093
I'M ABSITIVELY, POSOLUTELY
IN LOVE WITH THE BOY!
522
00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:47,263
I WANT TO GROW UP AND
TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH HIM.
523
00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:49,473
COFFEE IN PARIS, ROSES,
SAILBOATS, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS!
524
00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:54,562
I WANT TO HAVE
A PERFUME NAMED AFTER US:
ARNOLD AND HELGA.
525
00:19:54,645 --> 00:19:55,229
I LOVE ARNOLD!
526
00:19:55,313 --> 00:19:57,064
( car alarm beeping )
527
00:19:57,148 --> 00:19:58,900
SATISFIED?
528
00:19:58,983 --> 00:20:00,943
NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
529
00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:02,278
IF YOU EVER
TELL ANYONE
530
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,739
I'LL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT
AND WRAP IT AROUND YOUR NECK!
531
00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:06,490
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
532
00:20:06,574 --> 00:20:07,867
( sighs )
533
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,453
MAN... THAT WAS BUILDING UP
FOR A WHILE.
534
00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:11,287
I KNOW... BUT YOU SAID IT.
535
00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,789
AND THE WORLD DIDN'T END,
DID IT?
536
00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:15,541
( sighs ) NO.
537
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:16,626
PRETTY SICK,
AREN'T I?
538
00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:18,002
I MEAN, I ONCE
539
00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:18,836
SCULPTED ARNOLD'S LIKENESS
540
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,671
OUT OF WADS OF HIS USED GUM.
541
00:20:20,755 --> 00:20:22,715
YOU'RE NOT SICK.
542
00:20:22,798 --> 00:20:23,799
YOU FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
VERY STRONGLY.
543
00:20:23,883 --> 00:20:25,801
YOU'RE VERY CREATIVE.
544
00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:28,512
DID YOU SAY USED GUM?
545
00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:30,181
OKAY,
SO YOU LOVE ARNOLD
546
00:20:30,264 --> 00:20:32,683
AND YOU'RE SCARED
TO TELL HIM
547
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,810
BECAUSE HE MIGHT NOT
LOVE YOU BACK.
548
00:20:34,894 --> 00:20:37,480
HELGA,
THIS KIND OF THING
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
549
00:20:37,563 --> 00:20:39,607
BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
HOW HE FEELS
550
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:40,816
UNTIL YOU TELL HIM.
551
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:41,859
BUT I'M NOT READY TO TELL HIM!
552
00:20:41,943 --> 00:20:44,612
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM
UNTIL YOU'RE READY.
553
00:20:44,695 --> 00:20:46,280
I CAN STILL KEEP IT A SECRET?
554
00:20:46,364 --> 00:20:47,156
MM-HMM.
555
00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:48,115
IT'S OKAY
556
00:20:48,199 --> 00:20:49,492
TO BE OBSESSED
ABOUT HIM?
557
00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:51,202
YOU KNOW, THE SHRINES
AND STUFF
558
00:20:51,285 --> 00:20:52,411
THE TANTRIC SPELLS?
559
00:20:52,495 --> 00:20:54,747
AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT
HURTING ANYONE
560
00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:57,083
IT SOUNDS
LIKE AN OKAY WAY
TO EXPRESS YOURSELF.
561
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,668
ANIMAL SACRIFICES ARE OUT?
562
00:20:58,751 --> 00:21:00,002
YES, I'M AFRAID SO.
563
00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:01,420
SO IT'S OKAY TO BE HELGA.
564
00:21:01,504 --> 00:21:03,005
I CAN GO OUT THERE AND YELL
565
00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:05,341
AND BOSS THE OTHER KIDS
AROUND, RIGHT?
566
00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:06,008
RIGHT.
567
00:21:06,092 --> 00:21:06,801
CAN I STILL SOCK BRAINY?
568
00:21:06,884 --> 00:21:08,052
NO, DON'T SOCK BRAINY.
569
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:11,180
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
570
00:21:11,263 --> 00:21:13,683
OKAY, THAT'S PLENTY
TO THINK ABOUT.
571
00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:14,767
SESSION'S OVER,
HELGA.
572
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:16,477
WHAT?! ALREADY?
573
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:17,687
BUT WE WERE JUST
MAKING SOME PROGRESS.
574
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:20,064
WE CAN TALK AGAIN.
575
00:21:25,653 --> 00:21:26,946
AH!
576
00:21:27,029 --> 00:21:29,156
MAN, I FEEL GREAT!
577
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,408
SO CLEAN.
578
00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:33,160
CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
579
00:21:33,244 --> 00:21:34,453
IT'S THE NEW, HONEST ME!
580
00:21:36,497 --> 00:21:37,999
( both grunt )
581
00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:39,625
SORRY, HELGA.
582
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:40,251
ARNOLD!
583
00:21:40,334 --> 00:21:41,502
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT...
584
00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:44,797
THAT...
585
00:21:45,297 --> 00:21:46,716
THAT YOU SHOULD
586
00:21:46,799 --> 00:21:48,676
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING!
587
00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:50,094
QUIT CRASHING INTO ME
ALL THE TIME! SHEESH!
588
00:21:50,177 --> 00:21:52,972
NICE RUNNING
INTO YOU, TOO, HELGA.
589
00:21:54,849 --> 00:21:56,058
( laughs )
590
00:21:56,142 --> 00:21:57,393
LOOK AT HIM.
591
00:21:57,476 --> 00:21:58,561
ALL TICKED OFF.
592
00:21:58,644 --> 00:21:59,854
HE DOESN'T GET IT.
593
00:21:59,937 --> 00:22:02,064
HE DOESN'T KNOW MY SECRET.
594
00:22:02,148 --> 00:22:03,232
WHAT A SAP.
595
00:22:03,315 --> 00:22:05,735
WHAT A MAROON.
596
00:22:05,818 --> 00:22:08,988
HE STILL CAN'T EVEN TELL...
THAT I ADORE HIM.
597
00:22:09,071 --> 00:22:11,532
OH, MY FOOTBALL-HEADED LOVE GOD.
598
00:22:11,615 --> 00:22:14,744
I'M OKAY, YOU'RE OKAY,
WE'RE ALL OKAY.
599
00:22:14,827 --> 00:22:18,914
I LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU!
600
00:22:18,998 --> 00:22:20,458
( nasal breathing )
601
00:22:23,252 --> 00:22:24,128
LOOK, BRAINY,
THIS IS JUST WEIRD.
602
00:22:24,211 --> 00:22:27,173
HOW IS IT THAT YOU'RE
BEHIND ME AGAIN?
603
00:22:27,256 --> 00:22:28,716
HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
604
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:31,260
WERE YOU WAITING FOR ME
TO COME TO THIS ALLEY?
605
00:22:31,343 --> 00:22:32,428
WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?
606
00:22:32,511 --> 00:22:34,805
OKAY... I'M NOT GOING TO
HIT YOU THIS TIME.
607
00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:35,473
THIS ONE'S FOR FREE.
608
00:22:35,556 --> 00:22:37,391
TODAY I'M FEELING GENEROUS.
609
00:22:37,475 --> 00:22:38,559
BUT TOMORROW, LOOK OUT.
610
00:22:42,354 --> 00:22:45,274
All:
HEY, HELGA, HOW YOU DOING?
611
00:22:45,357 --> 00:22:46,442
LOOKING GOOD!
612
00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:54,825
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
613
00:22:54,909 --> 00:22:58,287
and NICKELODEON